His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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