i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
