Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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