That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
