do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
