apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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