can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
