lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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