ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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