well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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