Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
wow bdsm is so cute
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
