I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
