just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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