conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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