I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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