Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
