I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
