perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
