The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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