Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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