her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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