if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
