there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sex in a hospital.. check
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
