we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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