Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
