4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
