I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
