doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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