We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
