I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
