well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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