Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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