real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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