Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
