doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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