Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
