she was so not down for the gang bang
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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