You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
