i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize