I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize