I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize