Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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