I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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