im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize