hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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