i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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