Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize