dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love you. Go after that dick
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