I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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