I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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