Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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