I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
