but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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