my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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