Non-Jews are for practice
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
