please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When did angry sex become our thing?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
