my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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