Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
