how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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