If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
