When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize